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  • 20101.0
  • Overlord
  • Monday, 08 September 2003 13:16:27 UTC
Message Board Rules) Be sensitive at all times.

2) Never cheer after a show. only clap and nod.

3) Be open minded in a "rock out quietly" kind of way

4) Only the good irish indie bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Elliot's No More, Life after Modelling, Cars with Fire on.

5) Ankles are sensitive so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them.

6) Tattoos are sensitive especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 5 on how to see tattoo more clearly.

7) Wear your pixes hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look sensitive.

8 ) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.

9) (Exception to rule 8 ) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts.

10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.

11) Practice indie shuffles in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Fugazi comes to town.

12) An Indie band is only original if you call it The somethings. Example; The Frames, The Ritters, The Hooks, The Thrills, The Things, The Strokes, The kills

13) Remember, it's fun to pinch and pull hair kung fu style.

14) Keep yourself signed up to every mailing list on the scene and respond to each one with assortments of corrections and typos.

15) Real irish indie fans are called kids.

16) Complain how irish bands are playing with sell out pop bands/english bands at all costs!

17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the bass player from PJ Harvey.

18) Tell people you work in the music industry.

19) Hate the music industry.

20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you.

21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act sensitive again.

22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan.

23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes.

24) When you show people around your place, spend an hour explaining where you got each vinyl record you have.

25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real sensitive indie kids abstain.

26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic.
Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you
do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on
the album.

27) Start your own irish indie band.

28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.

29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure irish indie bands from dingal as possible.

30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the
audience.

31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.

32) Talk about how much better vinyl is than cd but never buy vinyl.

33) Never say "I loike Justin Timberlake" trying to be funny. Irish indie kids are sensitive, not funny.

34) It's merch not Merchandise.

35) Irish Indie girls must wear matching underwear at all times.

36) Stretch your ears out to look more sensitive.

37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more indie you are.

38 ) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis.

39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal.steal the mic away from the singer.

40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff".

41) Buy all of that bands merch.

42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.

43) Repeat steps 41 and 42

44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed ones with sellotape around the corners.

45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Frank Black.

46) Never admit you like Picturehouse and go see them live 12 times a year.

47) Complain that Limp Bizkit are playing but never admit that you like.

48 ) Complain at all costs.

49) Tag team indie shuffle dancing is cool

50) Real indie kids are really struggling photographers.

51) You don't go to indie concerts, you go to indie gigs. You have played that venue with your previous concept group.

52) Name your indie dance moves things like "The shuff-inator" or "the one foot off the floor move" or better yet..stay home and cry.

53) Protect your body from shuffling limbs by sacrificing your two legs.

54) Whisper about love.

55) Drink brandy and smoke american spirit cigarettes.

56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked at Pearl Jam. Give out about violence at gigs and then buy a PJ wristband.

57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band.

58 ) Always steal backstage passes after the gig and then make up stories about how you secretly played keys backstage.

59) big laces are cool.

60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from The Tycho Brahe. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.

61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Pier, Wall, After, Sigh

62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers.

63) Sleep with your guitar.

64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them
are the world's best indie rock bands. Every label represented, every
indie genre present. The venue is the best venue in the
world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free.

65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is sensitive.

66) Re-issue your demos after every album.

67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can feel the love and cry.

68 ) Crying on stage makes you a professional.

69) Complain some more.

70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend Scanners.

71) If you are from Dublin NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom ever is looking.

72) If you are from Galway NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the indie band from Dublin.

73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the
next Dashboard Confessional.

74) Stars in your eyes is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Micky)

75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched
ear plugs are clear.

76) Fuck beer, got absinthe?

77) Wristbands are cool.

78) Wristbands with sparkley stuff on them are cooler.

79) Wristbands with stripes are so last year - posers.

80) Your best friend is a guy/girl named th3bends1979 from Detroit who you chat
with on MSN everyday. He/She is coming to see you one day. Really.

81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue
to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip
off of your band.

82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural
effects of Slint.

83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.

84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.

85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then listen to bootlegs of last weeks gigs.

86) Obey the laws of the irish indie rock kid scene or forever be banished from the
circle.

87) When somebody asks you what is indie respond with "I am indie"
and then hug them while laughing at their thin laces.

88) Hate Goths but secretly adore all goth girls.

89) When people ask you why you have to buy tickets for gigs when you know somebody in the band, explain how you like to give something back to the scene.

90) Each saturday, go in to Road Records and ask Julie for information on the latest Adam Green single (on vinyl). When she has it in, don't buy it. Think about her when you are alone.

91) Hate dave for his closeness to Julie.

92) Hang out in Whelans all the time and then talk about how stale the Whelans scene is.

93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant
but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.

94) Tell everybody that Matador Records are too trendy.

95) Did you stop acting sensitive? Never watch sports.

96) Write your own bands name on desks/doors/dormant people. if abuse is written around it, carve out the offending chunks of plastic/wood/flesh.

97) Never say you're excited about a gig. Always say you're interested in the support and then be disapointed. pretend the headline act are of no importance.

98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.

99) When in doubt Mock everything including yourself.

100) Take everything personally and respond indignantly.

101) Assume that there is nothing outside the indie scene.

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  • 20101.1
  • oige
  • Monday, 08 September 2003 14:41:03 UTC
wowit is wayyy too much effort to be reading all of that!

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  • 20101.2
  • BCbte
  • Monday, 08 September 2003 15:31:23 UTC
that's quality...very funny.

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  • 20101.3
  • rules
  • Monday, 08 September 2003 15:42:35 UTC
102-112

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  • 20101.4
  • annie
  • Monday, 08 September 2003 17:54:09 UTC
funny :o)think I read something very similar before but it was the rules for emo kids or something. hehe, loved numbers 90 & 91 ...and as for the dillinger escape plan, what's to get but THE FEAR (they're a scary band)??

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  • 20101.5
  • Pub Singer
  • Tuesday, 09 September 2003 14:03:15 UTC
and one moreName your live album after a classic Slint song so people who thought you were a bunch of raggle taggle chancers will check you out!!!!!

really no offence lads

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  • 20101.6
  • elle
  • Tuesday, 09 September 2003 21:50:13 UTC
ah here!Ok really very funny...but TREK of a message!

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  • 20101.7
  • a fan
  • Wednesday, 10 September 2003 0:14:01 UTC
thank you overlordyou just became my personal hero.

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  • 20101.8
  • la
  • Thursday, 11 September 2003 17:00:24 UTC
hahabrilliant,only long thread i've read in a long time,brilliant,overlord,an honest and fantastic man/woman. thank you thank you

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  • 20101.9
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:24:55 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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  • 20101.10
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:24:58 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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  • 20101.11
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:25:00 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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  • 20101.12
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:25:01 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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  • 20101.13
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:25:02 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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  • 20101.14
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:25:05 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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  • 20101.15
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:25:11 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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  • 20101.16
  • ally b
  • Tuesday, 01 April 2008 15:25:23 UTC
husooooooooo confused

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ownerplease contact me to review dates and availability for portsmouth nh asap.thanks

richard

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ownerplease contact me to review dates and availability for portsmouth nh asap.thanks

richard

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ownerplease contact me to review dates and availability for portsmouth nh asap.thanks

richard

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ownerplease contact me to review dates and availability for portsmouth nh asap.thanks

richard

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  • 20101.21
  • Vic
  • Monday, 15 September 2008 4:40:33 UTC
jaysus and a half!18 months on this board and i JUST found these rules!!!!!! Took me two months to read "em, and I am so sorry for all my posts!!!!!!!!! sheeeeeeeet